Best fictional universities
October 18th, 2011
03:59 PM ET

Best fictional universities

Editor's note: AdultSwim.com, one of our geeky friends in the Time Warner universe, put together a commendable list of the institutions and universities we wish we had actually gone to. Check it out!

When you consider famous fictional colleges, titles like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds immediately come to mind. Here's the thing, though: Faber College wasn't nearly as exceptional as John Belushi's zit impression. Adams College was little more than the stage on which the nerds took their heavily-suspendered stand. Here are some nonexistent schools that stand out for their campuses, faculty, and institutional achievements.

For Celebrating Diversity:

  • Greendale Community College (Community)
    What's not to like about Greendale? A laid-back campus of amiable sociopaths and anxiety-wracked professors, an incredible wealth of throw-away classes ranging from pottery to billiards, Alison Brie... Greendale has it all. None of that holds a candle, though, to the college's most unique feature: an annual, faculty-sanctioned paintball war. Except for Alison Brie, obviously.
  • Port Chester University (PCU)
    Fiercely proud of its adherence to political correctness, PCU is all about equal opportunities– unless you're an underground fraternal order led by David Spade in his heyday or Jeremy Piven before he got his masters degree in heinous douchery.
  • Wossamotta University (Rocky & Bullwinkle)
    Before it could boast such famous alumni as Kenan & Kel, Wossamotta University was celebrated for being far ahead of its time as the first college to accept and enroll an adult bull moose. Though he never graduated, they would eventually bestow Bullwinkle with an Honorary Mooster's degree. Now there's some real diversity. Suck it, Port Chester!

For Specialized Career Training:

  • Acme Looniversity (Tiny Toon Adventures)
    Its student body may have been higher-pitched, teenage proteges of better characters, but with classes like Hard Knocks, Advanced Wild Takes and Anvil Dropping 101, "Acme Loo" stands out as the only University where abusing students is an integral part of the curriculum. Its accreditation is questionable, but it probably doesn't matter-the alumni have never gone on to accomplish anything of significance.
  • Xavier Institute for Higher Learning (X-Men)
    The Xavier Institute adheres to a strict policy of discriminating against human applicants and only admitting mutant students, making this one of the most exclusive private schools in the world. The unwitting emphasis on physical education and combat training is balanced by an undeniably ambitious fashion department. (Hope you like thigh belts and utility pouches.)

For Magic and Robe Stuff:

  • Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Harry Potter)
    Are you an abused British youth? Do you wish emails and texts could be replaced with a far more archaic and feathery form of message delivery? Can you rock an oversized scarf? Then why not consider Hogwarts? Why aren't you answering any of these questions?
  • Unseen University (Discworld)
    Long before Hogwarts stole its thunder, Unseen University was regarded as the number one institution for aspiring wizards. With a faculty comprised of bloated, greedy, neurotic spell-casters (and, in one specific case, an orangutan), new students are met with a challenging array of life-threatening classes that are just as likely to kill them as the labyrinthian grounds themselves.

For Making Out With Green Chicks:

  • Starfleet Academy (Star Trek)
    The Academy trains new recruits with the skills needed to serve, command, and chew scenery aboard a wide array of starships. Enrollment guarantees that you'll become well-versed in a great number of subjects and skills such as combat, navigation and linguistics. Be warned, however: there are mandatory courses in public speaking, melodrama, and toupee maintenance.
  • Mars University (Futurama)
    Mars U is quite similar to other, more traditional institutions in many ways, with the notable exceptions of being both on another planet and in the distant future. For those hoping to escape the watchful, invasive eyes of their parents, this is probably ideal.
  • Tromaville High (Class of Nuke'em High)
    It's not a University or College, but Tromaville High is the only academic facility located within one mile of a malfunctioning nuclear power plant. Rampant radiation ensures that there has to be at least one green-skinned chick who's willing to put out before Geometry, so long as her shriveled spit-up pot baby doesn't mutate and kill her first.
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soundoff (29 Responses)
  1. Tom

    University of northwest south dakota
    Faber College
    The Electorial College ( never made the Big Dance)
    There has to be more

    March 18, 2013 at 11:01 pm |
  2. jd

    You also missed Magisterius University – THE place to go if you want to date a Nymph (or a half-ogre, if you're into that sorta thing).

    October 30, 2011 at 7:05 pm |
  3. brian

    Check out Carmel University....http://www.facebook.com/CarmelUniversity?sk=notes

    October 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm |
  4. Abby

    Balls Mills Naval Academy – deep in the heart of the mountains of Pennsylvania

    just another to add to your list.

    October 20, 2011 at 6:51 pm |
  5. lt_murgen

    I agree.

    Miskatonic University needs to be on this list.

    I mean, parents really needs to sacrifice to get their children into that University.

    Or is it parents really need to sacrifice their children to get into that University. I can never remember which.

    October 20, 2011 at 2:52 pm |
  6. Damon

    Ralph Wiggum wanted to go to Bovine University.

    October 20, 2011 at 9:34 am |
  7. Mark

    You forgot Miskatonic University!

    October 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm |
  8. emma

    Hampden College in Vermont from Donna Tartt's The Secret History: the classic image of the old New England liberal arts college. And though it is not fictional: Harvard in Anton Myrer's the Last Convertible shows the college and campus in the last few terms before WWII.

    October 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm |
  9. anxietyjunkie

    Wow, and no Sunnydale U, either...

    October 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm |
  10. jj

    Hogwart's is a private secondary school.

    October 19, 2011 at 3:14 pm |
  11. Amy

    i'd love to go to Greendale and hang out with Jeff Winger's study group

    October 19, 2011 at 11:38 am |
  12. grant

    Maybe Miskatonic failed the cut due to the smell.

    October 19, 2011 at 11:28 am |
    • GamerGrrl

      Those darned cultists!

      October 20, 2011 at 1:59 pm |
  13. Mijan

    Hogwarts is so last year. I'm enlisting in Starfleet.

    October 19, 2011 at 11:05 am |
    • tryna13

      Agreed lol

      October 20, 2011 at 8:44 am |
  14. Binky42

    Hogwarts isn't meant to be a university. It is a typical British secondary school, which is like a combination of middle school and high school in the US.

    October 19, 2011 at 10:42 am |
    • Shahid

      Astrid August 16, 2011 You remembered all those cvonos? I'm crying my pretty eyeballs out while reading this; I nearly died of dehydration (Ok this is exag already) For the longest time I was wondering when are you going to blog about me. (Hahaha. Conceited much? BUT HEY, you love me right? You conceited, I'm conceited. Great minds think alike!) I just thought of another formula (the Joseph the Dreamer one; will let you know soon) What I really, truly wanna say is:Hi I'm Astrid. I love you, my friend.

      August 3, 2012 at 5:55 am |
  15. T

    Greendale Community College, the one school that mail order correspondence courses laugh at, but would love to be near Annie (Alison Brie).

    October 19, 2011 at 10:37 am |
  16. Bill

    What about Hillman College, from A Different World?!

    October 19, 2011 at 10:35 am |
    • TRUTH

      Exactly what I was thinkin!

      October 20, 2011 at 5:20 pm |
  17. Tea Party Express

    What about Faber College from Animal House?

    A great place to drink, do drugs and find strange loose women

    October 19, 2011 at 10:35 am |
  18. tobiwan

    why was not Harrad Collage included? Co-ed roommate and nude PE requirement and much much more.

    October 19, 2011 at 10:24 am |
    • E

      What's Harrad ? Where's that from ?

      October 19, 2011 at 10:33 am |
      • tobiwan

        A book by a Robert Rimmer. Check it out

        October 19, 2011 at 10:36 am |
  19. naiadknight

    You missed Brakebills from Lev Grossman's The Magicians. I would've gone there in a heartbeat!

    October 19, 2011 at 10:16 am |
  20. William

    What no Miskatonic University? It's been around much longer than a lot of the ones listed put together. It has a Rare Book Room in it's library that is just to die for-and their swim team is top notch-though usually disqualified for finned hands and feet and the ability to breath under water...

    October 18, 2011 at 5:48 pm |
    • Binky42

      Agreed. Miskatonic is glaringly missing from this list. If Lovecraft isn't nerd enough, I don't know what is.

      October 19, 2011 at 10:44 am |
    • lindsay

      seriously!

      October 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm |
    • JTC

      ... and my faith in humanity is restored. Ia! Ia!

      October 19, 2011 at 1:34 pm |